great effort last night by the souper and druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuureee. I love it. I had forgotten a lil about how panicked and great the hockey playoffs are. I was so excited driving over to Bill's house to watch it.
I love Alyson Franklin, lemme just say that. But i can't wait to give her her present more. She's gonna love it, too bad she has to wait to find out what it is. :P
It is apparently a couple days til my birthday. I haven't been drunk very much in the last couple years, so i should enjoy myself. :P
Work has been a lil bit crazy lately....i need to download some more music.
Nothing is so hard as this right now. I live my life for one person and only one person. I love her more than anything, and i know she loves me. I want to be with her and she's not so sure. I can only eat if i talk to her. I can only sleep if i hear her voice before. I'm pretty pathetic right now and I know it all is worth it when i get to see her. When she comes home and i get to see that smile.
life is great right now. What a crazy rollercoaster. I know i'm nowhere near where i want to be. And i have soooo much work and trustbuilding and improvement and influencing i have to do. But i look forward to it. She means so much to me. So much, that it's worth any kind of work i'll ever have to do to get that Claddagh ring turned around.
i hate myself. I don't want this to come off as people making a comment saying "it's alright steve. You're not really a bad guy." You're wrong and you don't know.
I don't deserve her. She deserves someone who would never do that kind of stuff to her ever again. Which is why i think i can be that guy. I'll never find anyone who can replace her. No matter what status, looks, or intelligence they have. They won't be Alyson Franklin. They won't be that same girl with that beautiful smile. The same one who dedicated her life to me and i blew it up like some unfeeling bastard. I hate my life currently. Friends are no help, i still want to keep throwing up. I don't want sympathy, i don't deserve sympathy. I just need her to help my heart slow down and get this lump out of my throat.
I'm so sorry alyson. It's been a day and that is too long. I love you.
I couldn't sleep last night because all i could do was think about the void next to me. She's so warm at night. I was so cold last night. I used to be able to reach over and grab her around the waist and feel her sigh and return right to sleep. God i miss that more than anything. I miss my arms around her. I want to be that knight, i want to be that man. Please give me that chance.
i can't really explain this though. It's a brand new feeling. It's a calming feeling but overwhelming at the same time. Yesterday the hours were so long til i saw her and so short when we talked and laughed. Our chemistry is the strength of an a-bomb and my happiness is unsurpassed. I said to her "this has to be the reason everyone writes songs about this." <3 Love <3
We could roleplay and i could be Emeril. BAM! BAM!
yes i do, and will forever. It sounds like junior high again, and i think it will be for a long long time. I just want to make more and more memories together. What's the next big step? I'm so excited.
I love her, i love her, i love her. I want to build an aly shrine.
Believe the news, I'm gone for good. Call off the search, no one will know that I'm down here Believe the note I left for you You can't turn back the clocks, you can't pull me up from here, so don't try
I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.
I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.
Make time slower, give me longer. It's too late for me, no one will know that I'm down here. And believe your dreams of me sinking so far, below, you can't pull me up from here so don't try.
In a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.
I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.
Leave it up to me. To burden you again. This ones not your fault. Please forgive me.
Leave it up to me (leave it up to me). To burden you again (To burden you again). This ones not your fault. So forget, so forget, so forget me.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all. Just let me go. Don't think back, don't think back of me at all. Just let me go. Don't think back, don't think back of me at all. Don't think back, don't think back of me at all. Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.
I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.
and I would still die for you I would still die for you and I would still die for you I would still die for you and I would still die for you...
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
futbolsven's journal
mellow
anxious
lonely
sleepy